The Life of Virtue

Several variant strands of my prayer life and academic life have converged today.  In a way that only He is able, God has knocked at the door of my heart.  He has told me of His desire to be fully present in me, thereby filling me with hope. A passage from the First Letter of Saint John was placed before my eyes early this morning. "If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just, and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  If we say we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us" (1 Jn 1:8-10). The passage roused a number of questions and thoughts within.  Am I guilty of deceiving myself and making Christ a liar?  Do I refuse to acknowledge certain aspects of my life or certain actions that are, indeed, sinful?  Have I prayed for the humility to confess every wrong that I have committed, or every right that I have omitted?...

Anyone who knows me knows well that I am not a good sufferer.  I do not fast well, I do not sacrifice well, and I am prone to be grumpy when asked/required to do so.  The sacrificial and penitential times of the year, Advent and especially Lent, are particularly rough. Over the past several days, I have been called by the Lord to engage in certain small sacrifices for a number of reasons.  As usual, I have complained along the way.  I have brooded over the actions I cannot take or the food I cannot eat. Yet, one thing was made abundantly clear to me last night.  It is better for me to make smaller sacrifices, involving less significant things and shorter amounts of time, with greater charity.  While the thing sacrificed, whether it is eating or the iPhone, is important; the disposition of my heart is far more important. In my efforts to grow in the virtues of patience and fasting, I should focus first on undertaking those sacrifices that I can make jo...